I think I ran away to Korea
to get away from a truth that sat
on my chest as I sat
on the sofa of an apartment that
had felt like being ‘adult’
and after, felt like being trapped.
I think I did the things I did in Korea
to convince myself that
I was still the same person
(despite the fact), but
everything has changed.
Everything has changed. How can
I sleep? My eyelids conspire with my mind.
There is the weight. There is the wall.
I think about sitting
in a towelling dressing gown
while my flatmate gets ready for work,
not knowing whether to shrug or cry.
We think we know nice guys
nice guys nice guys nice guys